The Golden Rule

So recently The Golden Rule has come up a lot in conversations so I would like to take a short look at it now cause hey it is on my mind.  ” One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself” or some version of that many are out there.  I think it is a fantastic rule in the broad sense to me it means treat others with love and compassion.  The problem that I think we run into and I say we cause I’m in the boat from time to time, is that we centralize this and put it in line with our egos.  When this rule is viewed with our ego in the forefront it can be far from loving and even cruel.  Just because something is a way specifically you want to be treated does not mean everyone else feels the same way about a particular act.  So it takes understanding(which leads to compassion) when employing this rule properly.  For example when going through a tough situation I dig joking about it, it takes a lot of the bite out of the situation in the beginning especially before I have had a chance to process it.  Like when I lost my job after 6 years and I knew it was coming to an end it became a joke between my best friend and I.  After a long wait it finally happened I didn’t know what I was going to do next and I was worried about it for a long time.  When I phoned my friend to give him the news that this event finally took place he said “It’s about time, want to go hiking”.  Which made me laugh and took a lot out of the situation, he also had the understanding of me and how I am to properly read the situation and respond accordingly.  Now if I responded with a joke when some people I am friends with were going through a serious situation it would hurt them incredibly they would not see the humor because it is not the way they want to be treated.  If I am letting my ego run the show I can say screw them I wouldn’t get upset what’s wrong with them.  Nothing is wrong with them not everyone wants to be treated the way you do and if we view them with a loving heart we can see that.  Nobody is perfect and we are going to hurt some people that is for sure but we can sure cut down on the amount of hurt we cause by keeping and open heart and understanding the people we have the most impact on the people around us that we know and love.  If we have better understanding of the way they would like to be treated it can cause less suffering for everyone in the long run. 

 

So to wrap it up treat people with love and compassion not specifically the way you want to be treated.  We can go a lot further in our relationships with people close to us if we treat them the way they want to be treated.

 

What is your take on this one?

 

Peace Love Das

Patience

Patience, another topic suggested by one of my readers.  Patience is something when worked on not only benefits those around us but it helps us to live a more peaceful life.  Many times we lose patience with others when we are focused on ourselves.  We see only what we are focused on and when doing so any action by others can be seen as a disruption to our peace because we lack patience in dealing with others.  This can ruin our day as well as others when we lack patience we do not act we react to the perceived situation and many times hurt others which can be the opposite of what we want to do but have little control.  We may even end up having guilt over the way we have treated people.  The real problem is we have lack of understanding of the situations people are going through around us.  The guy who just cut me off is a xxxxx and he can go xxxx himself cause I got places to go too.  What we don’t understand is what the xxxxx is going through.  He may be rushing his child laying down in the back seat of his car to the hospital, he may be late for an important job that is his only hope of supporting his family.  The point is we don’t know and if we did we might not react so swiftly but have compassion for him.  Also there is many things I have done to piss people off lots of that time my actions were less than stellar but directly attributed to some suffering I was going through I could of used some patience, some love at that time.  I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them some slack as I have been show it from time to time when I needed it.  What other choice do I have I can lose my patience all I want even if I’m justified in my action in my own head at the end of the day I have lost my peace I am disturbed and I have caused harm to others which is a failing mark in my book for the day.

 

Do you show others patience?  Are there times when someone has shown you patience you didn’t deserve?  Shouldn’t we pass that along to others?

 

Peace Love Das

Letting Go of Guilt Over Past Mistakes

 Letting Go of Guilt Over Past Mistakes, another great suggested topic by one of my readers.  This can be a big one for most people at times myself included the most pain we come across is inflicted by ourselves.  Guilt over past mistakes can get ugly, we are always looking forward reliving a decision from the past.  The problem we are not living life right now nor are we looking ahead to the future.  So what is a person to do?  Look deeply at the situation get it down on paper I feel this helps for us to be honest about what really happened.  Many times when through regret we make are selves out to be terrible monsters when it is just not the case.  The ego does this so we can feel worse about ourselves, in the egos eyes we got to draw attention to hurt so we have a reason to seek things outside ourselves for happiness, that’s the egos job.  The happiness you seek is inside you trust me I have looked everywhere else but more on that at another time.  Once you have it all down on paper as it has actually happened not the stories we tell ourselves, look at it.  Ask yourself why did you do what you did?  Where you suffering?  Where you misunderstood?  Where you in fear?  Did you misunderstand others?  Did you cause suffering?  Take a real good look at it and know that you made the best decision you did at the time.  Maybe not the decision you would make today but the best one you could make then in your current situation otherwise trust me you would have.  You have not doubt grown since then that’s why we are all here to grow.  If you find out that you have caused suffering maybe an amends is in order that’s something you will have to figure out.  Maybe you need to make an amends to yourself.  I will tell you this making amends is nice especially one from the heart but living amends making better decisions in the future is where its at.  Learning from our mistakes and living a better life makes a world of difference to you and those around you.

 

How are you doing letting go of guilt of the past?  Any helpful hints?  Would love to hear from you.

 

Peace Love Das

Goals and Motivation

This is the first of the suggested topics I received from friends and readers so here goes nothing.  Goal- the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.  I think goals are vastly important they keep us evolving and growing which is why I believe we are here.  To better ourselves to be the best we can be not only for ourselves but for other people.  What I call a win-win situation, you benefit through your efforts but so do other people, everybody wins.  To have a goal and for it to be worth while according to definition you need to direct effort towards something which is a lot easier if you care for it.  Proper motivation can come from many places keeping your effort strong and brining about the end result.  Much of my motivation comes through spirituality and my desire to do good as many of my goals are spiritual in nature.  Not all goals are easily measured so I believe its very important to enjoy the journey but sometimes this is easier said than done so the end result must be looked at.  With any goal I think growth plays a big part, growing is much of the journey that will lead you to the end game but I try not to be too attached to the result, knowing that what I’m putting my energy into will change me even if I don’t achieve the end result I think I was meant to do it for a reason and if I did not achieve what I wanted I learned something and the change will do me good.

 

As the year comes to a close I am reminded of my goal to help a person a day for a year which I made around this time last year.  Did I achieve it?  Too tell you the truth I don’t know didn’t really measure it to much but I do know this the goal that was set kept popping into my head and I helped a lot more people than I would of had I not set it.  So for me I guess I did complete my goal or at least the intention which was to help more people.

 

PS- If you know someone is working on a goal support them.  Sometimes we can become jealous of people trying to better themselves.  There is more than enough for everyone out there but we can only get it if we help each other.

 

What goals are you working on?

 

Peace Love Das

Limited Time Only

Well not really if there is something you would like me to discuss from a spiritual perspective leave a comment and I will.  Can be a current situation in the world, specific situation in your life, something in religion, work and really anything you might want to hear about. Leave a comment and I will get to it.

Peace Love Das

Spirituality In Action

Does your spirituality help you in life?  For many years mine did not I was more on a fact finding mission. Reading everything I could from every religion, waiting for that magic moment when one of these books would change my life. Yes I was going for happiness not through materialistic means but I was still looking for that magic potion that would transform me. I could talk for hours about one religion or another from Christianity to Voodoo but it wasn’t doing me a bit of good. It was actually doing the opposite it was giving me pride and making me more susceptible to the illusion of pain. Two things happened I read the quote “most people are only as happy as they make up their mind to be” and one of my spiritual teachers told me all the information in the world won’t help you unless you bring it into your life. I at once set my mind to being happy in all situations, I thought after all I have been miserable when everything was going good so why cant the opposite be possible and be happy even when the crap hits the fan. I also started practicing some of the things I was reading. Making them a part of my daily life. A small bit of practice has been worth so much more than all the studying I did in the years past had a positive impact on my life more than I could ever hope for. I try to keep these practices going in good times and bad. Its alot easier to pick up the spiritual tool kit in hard times if you use it everyday no matter what but sometimes we forget to use it until pain motivates.

What will you do today as part of your parctice?

Peace Love Das

Winter Dream Come True

Merry Christmas everyone just got home after a whirlwind couple of days. Started off with a family Christmas dinner followed by Trans Siberian Orchestra Friday which was awesome then 2 days in the mountains enjoying the snow followed by another Christmas dinner and a drive home. Needless to say I am a little tired but it was all well worth it spending time with the people you love is always worth it. Coming together with friends and family is always the best part of this time of year, yes there are always some bumps in the road some schdules not working as planned but in the end what will be will be so might as well let it happen. While hiking this weekend in the best snow we have had in these parts for some time I was reminded of the beauty of life just as it is especially when I saw a big white rabbit just hanging out under a rockledge just looking around. Sometimes thats all it takes just open your eyes and look around to see whats important.

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods and your enjoying the holiday season.

Peace Love Das

Good News

Despite all the negative news on tv this also happened today. Puppies, kittens and tons of cute animals were born. Families got together and had good times.  Old friends reconnected and new ones were made.  People got new jobs.  Babies were born and held for the first time.  People were forgiven.  People fell in love.  People found new hope in all kinds of things. Someone found their missing left sock.  People reached goals.  Mountains were hiked and sicknesses were cured. Poeple helped people and it was powerful stuff.

And the best news of all, this stuff happens everyday.

What good news do you have?

Peace Love Das

Tragedy

People keep asking me what I think about the recent shootings at a Newton Connecticut elementary school. Its a horrible tragedy there isnt much else to say many people lost their lives before they even started, parents were lost, children were lost, brothers, sisters and loved ones.  Its terrible all around what drives someone to do things of this nature I have no idea i will venture to guess that alot of suffering in the young mans life that carried out the attacks this by no means makes it any less terrible. I can onky imagine what these families are going through, stuff that nobody should have to go through. Its now all over the place politicians are going crazy, advocacy groups pumping up there cause and a host of other reactions.  People calling for tougher gun control laws more security all kinds of things will this help I have no idea. I am a former gun owner former military member and gave up the need for guns a long time ago. I do think that more love and understanding will help for the recovering families from this tragedy and to prevent future ones from happening. I don’t know if all the other actions will do anything but if people are loved more helped more and have the help they need maybe people would not be driven to do these horrfic things. I’m sorry if any of this offends anyone and my thoughts and prayers are with all off you.

Peace Love Das

Happy Holidays

I am down in North Carolina this week for work a couple days away from my beloved New Jersey and 1 thing was noticeably different the second I walked off the plane.  Forget that I wasn’t even off the plane yet and I heard it Merry Christmas it is been a custom where I live to say Happy Holidays for quite some time now.  As soon as I landed the pilot came over the loudspeaker have an said have a great day and Merry Christmas.  I noticed it because I’m so used to hearing happy holidays I for 1 have no problem with it doesn’t bother me in the least but some people get all up in arms about it.  I also noticed the lack of Menorah flanking Christmas trees down here which is the common practice up north.  my question is what do you say? do you have a problem with it? does it bother you to hear a specific holiday with the well wishing?  if I know your religion I will use that this time of year if I know you’re Jewish I’m going to say Happy Hanukkah if you’re Christian I’m going to say Merry Christmas if I don’t know I will use happy holidays.  Feel free to whish me whatever you like I will celebrate it all and if your  atheist have a nice day.  I think the spirit of the holidays is love and that no matter what holiday you celebrate we should be sharing that love celebrating what brings us together and not what seperates us.

Peace Love Das