Grateful

Well its as good a time as any to talk about being grateful and not only saying it but showing it.  We all have something most of us many things to be grateful for.  It is amazing how we can move away from gratitude to taking things for granted at light speed.  There are many things in our lives that would be completely heart breaking if taken away yet we take them for granted.  Things like health, shelter, a hot shower, food, friends, jobs and relationships.  I am very grateful for the things and the people/relationships I have in my life today.  I try to show it too but that was not always the case at one point in my life I took everything for granted and didn’t really do a hill of crap for anyone and I was miserable totally focused on what I didn’t have.  Today much of the same things materially are in my life and I am grateful for of them but the relationships are far better cause I don’t take them for granted.  I try to focus on the positive cause it impacts others positively and hey its a lot better than being miserable all the time trust me I know.  But do we show we are grateful?  I sure try to and I will give you some examples.  I have a job its a pretty good job, well the best I ever had so I show up to work and do the best I can on any given day.  I have family and friends I love so I try to be there for them and let them know how much they mean to me.  I dig the companionship my cat gives me as well as the laughter he causes on a regular basis so I feed him, pet him and give him some treats.  I have a girlfriend who when I was single I would do a lot to get she is awesome and a big part of my life so I try to do nice things for her like open a car door, do some dishes and all kinds of stuff.  The point is people tend to take a lot of stuff for granted, if we are truly grateful for stuff show it.  Sometimes we treat strangers better than the people who have been around us showing support and love its time to stop all that.

 

Well that’s my two cents for the night drop yours in the comments I would love to know what’s on your mind

 

Peace Love Das  

Relationships?? How to put up with the bullshit that comes along with them…

Relationships??  How to put up with the bullshit that comes along with them…, hey I don’t edit the suggested topics titles that’s exactly how it was suggested to me.

Relationships are a tricky thing so many moving parts not to mention the role that our reason for being here plays into them.  Reason for being here being to grow spiritually.  The problem that I have had and a lot of people I know when going into relationships is, drum roll please, we don’t even love ourselves that much how are we going to love someone else.  Many of us have bad self images and I am not just talking about physical appearance things we have done, our current life situations, past mistakes and all kinds of other stuff are a hard pill to swallow sometimes.  It is hard to except ourselves exactly how we are now, I try to look at it that I am exactly how I am suppose to be at any given moment good or bad.  I have made the best decisions I could at any given time in my process of growth but that was a long journey, but back on topic.  So many of us don’t even love ourselves or show it for that matter but deep down a lot of the time our ego still tells us that we are better than most of the people around us and we take that into relationships.  Just crazy talk.  When we understand that we are people beautiful people but just people, when we can love our whole self and realize the people around us are just people doing the best they can it is a better place to go in and try for a relationship with others.  The more we think of ourselves not in a egotistical way but in a self love way we are more ready to see people as beautiful and what they really are making there own mistakes to but trying their best and learning.

Over past relationship’s romantic and other I have found myself trying to change people and mold them into what I believe they should be instead of what I try to do now, love people exactly as they are.  To love and accept someone as they are is huge in my world yes it is much easier in a romantic relationship when you are compatible but why try and get into a relationship with someone you are not compatible with.  Don’t try to put a square peg in a round hole wait for the round peg to show up.  I have also learned to realize that sometimes the person we are in a relationship with are doing things you may not like, does not mean they are doing it to piss you off.  Let them be if it is not a big deal don’t make it if its something you need to work on together don’t hold it in but also don’t make little shit big shit.  Furthermore what is all this 50/50 crap in a relationship?  For it to work its got to be 100/100 you got to be all in.  Now don’t go thinking that hey I’m putting 100 in and they are not your 100% percent is different on different days and so is everyone else’s so just put your heart into it but still be you never give that up does any of this make sense?  Probably not

To wrap up, cuase hey its late and there is meditation to be had. If you are going to love someone accept them as they are stop trying to change every little thing about people.  If its not a big deal don’t make it one.  Have faith that the right person will come along at the right time but sometimes that person is just a learning experience so you can have greater love later.  Don’t settle cause you are not happy being with yourself use the time to get to be happy by yourself then your ready for a relationship.

 

Ok one last blurb, I once came to a point where I was not happy in relationships I thought there was nobody there for me so I gave up I was gonna be happy by myself.  So I was spent time with friends worked on myself spiritually was really living life and it was great.  I was speaking with my best friend one afternoon and I said for me to be in a relationship I would have to find a girl who fit a certain very specific criteria.  I wont get into the whole list but it included having climbed at least 17 of the 35 Catskill high peaks and being able to dance in the supermarket.  I put this out to my best friend and to God and said if I was going to get back into a relationship this girl would appear….  Couple months down the line that girl was in my life and we were working on how to love each other as we are.  Almost two years later and we are climbing mountains still and dancing everywhere we go.  It is not always perfect but most of the time it is pretty darn close.  So put it out there and the person you are looking for might show up hell they might be in front of you all along.  Remember love yourself, love those around you and if you are up to the challenge love your enemies.

 

Well that is it for tonight if you have a suggested topic leave it in the comments.

 

Peace Love Das

Help

Over my life many many people have helped me. From my parents to my family, friends, cowokers and complete strangers. At one point in my life I was at an all time low and really didn’t see the point in going on but a complete stranger completely changed my life with the help of a few others. It tramsformed the way I live, think and act. There was just one catch, I would have to help others once I was in a postion to do so. Today I am very happy most of the time and help as many people as I can. You can always do more but honestly doing your best is what you can do on any given day. I will help just about anyone as long as I beilieve they will help others someday and who am I kidding even if they won’t. People helped me when I didn’t deserve it and was not very appreciative of it so I try to see where people are coming from and lend a helping hand. I found out a couple things along this journey. 1 the people who lash out and cause suffering are usually suffering the most and need the most help and 2 I dont know if anyone benefits from it more than me I have more love and understanding in my heart than I have ever had because of this journey and for that I am grateful.

What do you think?  Will you help others today? A family member? Friend? Coworker? Stranger?  Well for the maximum spiritual benifit I suggest helping an enemy and in the end you will find out you dont have any.

Peace Love Das

The Golden Rule

So recently The Golden Rule has come up a lot in conversations so I would like to take a short look at it now cause hey it is on my mind.  ” One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself” or some version of that many are out there.  I think it is a fantastic rule in the broad sense to me it means treat others with love and compassion.  The problem that I think we run into and I say we cause I’m in the boat from time to time, is that we centralize this and put it in line with our egos.  When this rule is viewed with our ego in the forefront it can be far from loving and even cruel.  Just because something is a way specifically you want to be treated does not mean everyone else feels the same way about a particular act.  So it takes understanding(which leads to compassion) when employing this rule properly.  For example when going through a tough situation I dig joking about it, it takes a lot of the bite out of the situation in the beginning especially before I have had a chance to process it.  Like when I lost my job after 6 years and I knew it was coming to an end it became a joke between my best friend and I.  After a long wait it finally happened I didn’t know what I was going to do next and I was worried about it for a long time.  When I phoned my friend to give him the news that this event finally took place he said “It’s about time, want to go hiking”.  Which made me laugh and took a lot out of the situation, he also had the understanding of me and how I am to properly read the situation and respond accordingly.  Now if I responded with a joke when some people I am friends with were going through a serious situation it would hurt them incredibly they would not see the humor because it is not the way they want to be treated.  If I am letting my ego run the show I can say screw them I wouldn’t get upset what’s wrong with them.  Nothing is wrong with them not everyone wants to be treated the way you do and if we view them with a loving heart we can see that.  Nobody is perfect and we are going to hurt some people that is for sure but we can sure cut down on the amount of hurt we cause by keeping and open heart and understanding the people we have the most impact on the people around us that we know and love.  If we have better understanding of the way they would like to be treated it can cause less suffering for everyone in the long run. 

 

So to wrap it up treat people with love and compassion not specifically the way you want to be treated.  We can go a lot further in our relationships with people close to us if we treat them the way they want to be treated.

 

What is your take on this one?

 

Peace Love Das

Patience

Patience, another topic suggested by one of my readers.  Patience is something when worked on not only benefits those around us but it helps us to live a more peaceful life.  Many times we lose patience with others when we are focused on ourselves.  We see only what we are focused on and when doing so any action by others can be seen as a disruption to our peace because we lack patience in dealing with others.  This can ruin our day as well as others when we lack patience we do not act we react to the perceived situation and many times hurt others which can be the opposite of what we want to do but have little control.  We may even end up having guilt over the way we have treated people.  The real problem is we have lack of understanding of the situations people are going through around us.  The guy who just cut me off is a xxxxx and he can go xxxx himself cause I got places to go too.  What we don’t understand is what the xxxxx is going through.  He may be rushing his child laying down in the back seat of his car to the hospital, he may be late for an important job that is his only hope of supporting his family.  The point is we don’t know and if we did we might not react so swiftly but have compassion for him.  Also there is many things I have done to piss people off lots of that time my actions were less than stellar but directly attributed to some suffering I was going through I could of used some patience, some love at that time.  I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them some slack as I have been show it from time to time when I needed it.  What other choice do I have I can lose my patience all I want even if I’m justified in my action in my own head at the end of the day I have lost my peace I am disturbed and I have caused harm to others which is a failing mark in my book for the day.

 

Do you show others patience?  Are there times when someone has shown you patience you didn’t deserve?  Shouldn’t we pass that along to others?

 

Peace Love Das

Letting Go of Guilt Over Past Mistakes

 Letting Go of Guilt Over Past Mistakes, another great suggested topic by one of my readers.  This can be a big one for most people at times myself included the most pain we come across is inflicted by ourselves.  Guilt over past mistakes can get ugly, we are always looking forward reliving a decision from the past.  The problem we are not living life right now nor are we looking ahead to the future.  So what is a person to do?  Look deeply at the situation get it down on paper I feel this helps for us to be honest about what really happened.  Many times when through regret we make are selves out to be terrible monsters when it is just not the case.  The ego does this so we can feel worse about ourselves, in the egos eyes we got to draw attention to hurt so we have a reason to seek things outside ourselves for happiness, that’s the egos job.  The happiness you seek is inside you trust me I have looked everywhere else but more on that at another time.  Once you have it all down on paper as it has actually happened not the stories we tell ourselves, look at it.  Ask yourself why did you do what you did?  Where you suffering?  Where you misunderstood?  Where you in fear?  Did you misunderstand others?  Did you cause suffering?  Take a real good look at it and know that you made the best decision you did at the time.  Maybe not the decision you would make today but the best one you could make then in your current situation otherwise trust me you would have.  You have not doubt grown since then that’s why we are all here to grow.  If you find out that you have caused suffering maybe an amends is in order that’s something you will have to figure out.  Maybe you need to make an amends to yourself.  I will tell you this making amends is nice especially one from the heart but living amends making better decisions in the future is where its at.  Learning from our mistakes and living a better life makes a world of difference to you and those around you.

 

How are you doing letting go of guilt of the past?  Any helpful hints?  Would love to hear from you.

 

Peace Love Das