Friendship….and what makes a true friend.

Another good suggested topic by one of my fine readers. To me friend is a title and with all titles it loosely dictates behavior.  There are all different kinds of friends from someone who is a bit more of an acquaintance to someone who is a best friend.  To me a best friend is family without the blood relation.  My best friend is just about a brother to me but so much more as we choose to be best friends we are not bound to each other  by any other thing but friendship.  That relationship is the one of the purest form of friendship I have experienced so I will talk about that here.  I met my best friend by chance and we started hanging out out of mutual interest and boredom.  Our friendship is based on a large level of respect we don’t pressure each other into anything and we support each other in whatever we do.  We click and we never force views on one another, in actuality when we first started hanging out it kind of confused me, we could not be more different in some aspects but our friendship works I really don’t think we have ever fought about anything.  I think the key to this relationship as well as most friendships for that matter is respect, loving someone as they are, having understanding, showing support and loyalty.  I have been there for my best friend to the best of my ability on any given day and trust me some days that ability sucked but a level of forgiveness was given to me that I am forever grateful for and hope to return some day.  We do understand that we both have separate lives and they may get in the way of hanging out and goofing off sometimes but the key is we understand that and when we do come together we make the most of that time.

 

Maybe he will drop a comment and give his side or you can stop by his blog http://www.quixoticjedi.com/ and ask him.

 

Reader who suggested the topic I hope this helps and what you were looking for if you want more on a specific situation that has caused friendship to come into question let me know.

 

 

Peace Love Das

Grateful

Well its as good a time as any to talk about being grateful and not only saying it but showing it.  We all have something most of us many things to be grateful for.  It is amazing how we can move away from gratitude to taking things for granted at light speed.  There are many things in our lives that would be completely heart breaking if taken away yet we take them for granted.  Things like health, shelter, a hot shower, food, friends, jobs and relationships.  I am very grateful for the things and the people/relationships I have in my life today.  I try to show it too but that was not always the case at one point in my life I took everything for granted and didn’t really do a hill of crap for anyone and I was miserable totally focused on what I didn’t have.  Today much of the same things materially are in my life and I am grateful for of them but the relationships are far better cause I don’t take them for granted.  I try to focus on the positive cause it impacts others positively and hey its a lot better than being miserable all the time trust me I know.  But do we show we are grateful?  I sure try to and I will give you some examples.  I have a job its a pretty good job, well the best I ever had so I show up to work and do the best I can on any given day.  I have family and friends I love so I try to be there for them and let them know how much they mean to me.  I dig the companionship my cat gives me as well as the laughter he causes on a regular basis so I feed him, pet him and give him some treats.  I have a girlfriend who when I was single I would do a lot to get she is awesome and a big part of my life so I try to do nice things for her like open a car door, do some dishes and all kinds of stuff.  The point is people tend to take a lot of stuff for granted, if we are truly grateful for stuff show it.  Sometimes we treat strangers better than the people who have been around us showing support and love its time to stop all that.

 

Well that’s my two cents for the night drop yours in the comments I would love to know what’s on your mind

 

Peace Love Das  

Relationships?? How to put up with the bullshit that comes along with them…

Relationships??  How to put up with the bullshit that comes along with them…, hey I don’t edit the suggested topics titles that’s exactly how it was suggested to me.

Relationships are a tricky thing so many moving parts not to mention the role that our reason for being here plays into them.  Reason for being here being to grow spiritually.  The problem that I have had and a lot of people I know when going into relationships is, drum roll please, we don’t even love ourselves that much how are we going to love someone else.  Many of us have bad self images and I am not just talking about physical appearance things we have done, our current life situations, past mistakes and all kinds of other stuff are a hard pill to swallow sometimes.  It is hard to except ourselves exactly how we are now, I try to look at it that I am exactly how I am suppose to be at any given moment good or bad.  I have made the best decisions I could at any given time in my process of growth but that was a long journey, but back on topic.  So many of us don’t even love ourselves or show it for that matter but deep down a lot of the time our ego still tells us that we are better than most of the people around us and we take that into relationships.  Just crazy talk.  When we understand that we are people beautiful people but just people, when we can love our whole self and realize the people around us are just people doing the best they can it is a better place to go in and try for a relationship with others.  The more we think of ourselves not in a egotistical way but in a self love way we are more ready to see people as beautiful and what they really are making there own mistakes to but trying their best and learning.

Over past relationship’s romantic and other I have found myself trying to change people and mold them into what I believe they should be instead of what I try to do now, love people exactly as they are.  To love and accept someone as they are is huge in my world yes it is much easier in a romantic relationship when you are compatible but why try and get into a relationship with someone you are not compatible with.  Don’t try to put a square peg in a round hole wait for the round peg to show up.  I have also learned to realize that sometimes the person we are in a relationship with are doing things you may not like, does not mean they are doing it to piss you off.  Let them be if it is not a big deal don’t make it if its something you need to work on together don’t hold it in but also don’t make little shit big shit.  Furthermore what is all this 50/50 crap in a relationship?  For it to work its got to be 100/100 you got to be all in.  Now don’t go thinking that hey I’m putting 100 in and they are not your 100% percent is different on different days and so is everyone else’s so just put your heart into it but still be you never give that up does any of this make sense?  Probably not

To wrap up, cuase hey its late and there is meditation to be had. If you are going to love someone accept them as they are stop trying to change every little thing about people.  If its not a big deal don’t make it one.  Have faith that the right person will come along at the right time but sometimes that person is just a learning experience so you can have greater love later.  Don’t settle cause you are not happy being with yourself use the time to get to be happy by yourself then your ready for a relationship.

 

Ok one last blurb, I once came to a point where I was not happy in relationships I thought there was nobody there for me so I gave up I was gonna be happy by myself.  So I was spent time with friends worked on myself spiritually was really living life and it was great.  I was speaking with my best friend one afternoon and I said for me to be in a relationship I would have to find a girl who fit a certain very specific criteria.  I wont get into the whole list but it included having climbed at least 17 of the 35 Catskill high peaks and being able to dance in the supermarket.  I put this out to my best friend and to God and said if I was going to get back into a relationship this girl would appear….  Couple months down the line that girl was in my life and we were working on how to love each other as we are.  Almost two years later and we are climbing mountains still and dancing everywhere we go.  It is not always perfect but most of the time it is pretty darn close.  So put it out there and the person you are looking for might show up hell they might be in front of you all along.  Remember love yourself, love those around you and if you are up to the challenge love your enemies.

 

Well that is it for tonight if you have a suggested topic leave it in the comments.

 

Peace Love Das